So.......what are your outlets? And how do you think of them? If you consider them to be work, then they are. But there is great value in having hobbies, activities that you can get into, those things that break your attention away from work, worries and concerns. Golf is one of those things for me.
When friends get together to play we give each other plenty of advice, before we tee off. But once we're on the course all instruction ceases. We'll talk about everything under the sun, but no instruction, we've all got our flaws, are painfully aware of them, and are actually working on some known issues. And we try to diminish the competitive mode, get more into playing the course and not each other.
Success is when thoughts of work vanish and we're just kids out playing a game. And when we get to laughing and joking it is even better. The work will always be there. But the entire time we're thinking about everything but those concerns we've given our mind time to work in the background. And when we finally do have to go back to work we're more refreshed and better for having laughed and played for the four to five hours it takes us to play the course.
What works for you?
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All of my "off time" is spent with my wife and four young children. Wherever we have been assigned, we've enjoyed the local attractions, events and activities that make that place unique. Being stationed in the Nation's Capitol offers plenty of options that fuel their imaginations, from visit to the many museums to spending time at the beach near our home on the western shore of the Chesapeake, to exploring beaver ponds in the woods near our home. A special treat for the children (and myself)is that this is the first time in my career that I have been stationed near my parents. The kids love seeing grandma and grandpa and smiles on thier faces and the joy in their hearts makes me realize how important is the work I do. As a father I keep them safe so that the world is opened up the them. As a Soldier, I keep the world safe so that all may have the hope of freedom.
LTC Paul Saltysiak, student, Command and General Staff College, Fort Belvoir, VA
The comments and opinions above are my own and do not reflect the official position or views of the US Army.
There are few better places than the national capitol region to enjoy time with the family. Just this morning we were discussing in our staff group Wolf Trap, the Kennedy Center and the extensive cultural sites in downtown D.C. as low and no-cost venues for the occasional outing.
Considering that the course brings us here only briefly and many may never return this is an opportunity at personal, staff group and family level that should be taken advantage of and enjoyed. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
The commuting challenges in the National Capital Region (NCR) has complicated opportunities for relaxation for my family and I. Nonetheless, we try to view the cup as half full and dedicate at least a day each week to spending quality time together as a family. These activities can range from watching a recent movie together in our theater room while eating popcorn loaded with butter (the only time we forget about our cholesterol) to enjoying a live musical theater and visiting the numerous historical sites in the NCR to include the Smithsonian museums. We also commit to a new vacation spot at least annually as a total escape from the day-to-day hustle and bustle.
My friends are always telling me I should make time for myself, but this has been a low priority with having small children and our closest relative a thousand miles away. I consider singing in my church choir, serving on the Executive Board at my daughter’s school, volunteering to support her Girl Scout Troop events, and any time to read for leisurely purposes to bring a great deal of satisfaction. With my husband and I spending at least four hours commuting each work day (which is a greater challenge during the academic school year), I am constantly struggling for that perfect balance in my life to ensure I am the consummate professional, wife and mother. All in all, spending quality time with my family, in any setting, provides relaxation and a sense of relief from the chaos in the area.
Major Tonya L. Collins, Student, Command and General Staff School, U.S. Army Combined Arms Center, Fort Belvoir, Virginia
The views expressed in this blog are views of the author and do not reflect the official policy or position of the Department of the Army, Department of Defense, or the U.S. Government.
How to relax? We ofter search for those grand plans, but most often relazation comes in the form of moments anymore. My wife and I are both in the Army and we have three children under the age of 7.
Those few moments of peace I get when I am turning at the grill turn into twice the amount of time required. I take a few moments to gaze out into the woods and breath deeply, before going back into the house that is filled with noise and "Daddy, I need. . . ."
We hear constantly, you need to have balance in your life. I agree, but it is hard to do with a type "A" personality. Balance in life is like my golf game. There are days that I am in perfect balance and all is good and other days--I am shanking or missing the ball totally.
So for now, I will continue to steal those few quiet moments of peace to recharge and catch my breath before returning to the maddness.
Major Bill Fitzhugh
Student, Command and General Staff School
U.S. Army Combined Arms Center
Fort Belvoir, Virginia
“The views expressed in this “insert type” are those of the author and do not reflect the official policy or position of the Department of the Army, Department of Defense, or the U.S. Government.”
Balance,
Easy to say, hard to do. Intellectually you see and understand the meaning, but we have to fight our "Type A-ness" to get there. It requires a conscious decision to strike the balance between equally desirable choices, a decision that only we can make. And so Tonya and Bill, how do we decide we can live with the grass just a bit taller, with not everything not just so perfectly arranged on the desk in order to spend more time in other areas?
It seems that the less time I have, the more I am able to accomplish. Perhaps this is because it forces me to settle for a lower personal standard than desired rather than striving for perfection to complete the many conflicting tasks at hand.
I have been thinking about how I relax and what does it mean to have balance. After talking to my wife, I have re-defined balance. Balance to me means--when I am at work it has my undevoted attention and likewise, when I am home, my family get's my undevoted attention. I did a test this week. My wife is away and I am home alone with our three children. I made a conscious effrot to make sure I did not try to accomplish anyother task when they were awake. They were much happier and I was much happier. This is anecdotal, but I hope to continue this effort.
Balancing home, work, and play -- "the challenge to maintaining sanity!"
This has been, and continues to be a challenge, for me. I always find myself falling into the trap of spending too much effort at work, at the expense of my family and my hobbies (or self-development). I have always sought the tough jobs and confidence of those around me, which usually means being assigned all the tough work. This typically spirals out of control into long hours on the job...reducing the available hours at home. Then I deployed to Iraq and worked ALL the time. I fortunately had a boss who sat me down at my OER counseling and exit interview and said..."Kyle, you are just like me...you work too much. You need to take the time to balance the things in your life." Up to that moment, I thought I had. But I realized that I indeed had not.
My wife and I had made a list of things we wanted to see were in the DC area when we moved here in 2002 -- it was a few pages long. We had not accomplished very much. So now we are making plans for the museums, the theater, the parks, the restaurants, and the landmarks/monuments. With so much to see, we will be extremely busy.
For hobbies, I run, play golf, and play softball. These are activities that help reduce stress...stress that increased significantly prior to the deployment because I was spending more time at work. These activities keep me grounded...they are essential to my well-being.
My goal is to place my wife and my hobbies first before work for awhile. I have been able to so while in ILE...I hope to be able to maintain that when I return to the Army Staff job at the end of Aug. I know realize the importance my family and my hobbies are, and how fragile and short life is. I will no longer take for granted that the family will always be there, or that I will always be able to run or swing a golf club, I will allocate more time for them.
Major Kyle Jones
Student, Command and General Staff School
U.S. Army Combined Arms Center
Fort Belvoir, Virginia
“The views expressed are my own and do not reflect the official policy or position of the Department of the Army, Department of Defense, or the U.S. Government.”
While I would like to say that doing things with or for my family relaxes me, in truth it typically does not. I did enjoy our recent trip to a theme park. Still, the planning and concern for everyone's enjoyment during these types of events introduces elements that increase my stress levels above base line.
With the above in mind, for me relaxing must address how to engage a mind that is constantly observing, assessing, categorizing, and wargaming my environment during every waking moment. I have two strategies which I use to relax, each of which accomplishes that end in a different way.
One method seeks to minimize external stimuli in order to give me an opportunity to ponder the key events and decisions I face that are mixed in with the daily chaff. Running at night works very well for me in this regard. The effort of running has the effect of sloughing off the trivial, leaving the more consequencial in the forefront of my thoughts. The solitude that comes with the darkness and quiet allows me the opportunity to focus with less effort and things just somehow come together in my mind. This clarity relaxes me while the physical effects are just an added bonus. In truth, I've never been a fan of running from a purely physical standpoint. The mental effects provide me greater value.
The other method I use to relax seeks to engage my mind so completely in a particular endeavor that I am unable think about other things - a time out from the weighty thoughts. Online gaming, more specifically World of Warcraft, has that effect. My online avatars each have their respective skillsets, equipment requirements, and objectives that must be met. Employing each in their roles as part of a 5, 10, or 25 member team of other online players to successfully engage our digital adversaries requires near total attention to a multiplicity of details, particularly when facing a new encounter. In and of itself, the game gives me an opportunity to exercise my mind in a place where my decisions have no implications for the important things in my life - my family and the career that supports us.
For the moment, these two techniques are working for me. I still must remain cognizent of maintaining the balance of alone time and my time with my wife Sonia and the girls, ensuring that all our needs are met, both individually and collectively.
Major Jeff Robinson
Student, Command and General Staff School
U.S. Army Combined Arms Center
Fort Belvoir, Virginia
The comments and opinions above are my own and do not reflect the official position or views of the US Army.
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